drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize