Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I've blown a few things in my day
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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