just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize