i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
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