take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize