I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
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