We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
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he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
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Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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