we made out on top of his cat.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize