I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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