I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize