I am in a vortex of obligation.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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