He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I don't deserve a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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