I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I need to stop coming to work sober
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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