Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize