pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize