I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
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this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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