remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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