this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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