i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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