the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize