yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize