Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Congratulations! We have a period
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