mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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