Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize