You smell like a Billy Joel song
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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