Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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