party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize