Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He felt like a one man threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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