She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize