You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
we're so committed to being not committed
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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