am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize