so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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