I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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