shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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