I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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