i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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