Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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