Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize