:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
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this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
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Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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