Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize