Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
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Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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