after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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