I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize