the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize