how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize