And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
We're hate flirting, damnit.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize