what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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