I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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