her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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