so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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