i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize